I have no patience...never have, never will. And anyone who knows me would fully agree. I hate waiting in line, busy signals, traffic jams, commercials, and so on and so on.
Everyone told me that when you become a parent you learn to become more patient. Nope, never happened. When Chase came along I didn't miss a beat, and continued with my impatient ways. Probably the reason that Chase is the second most impatient person I know.
And then comes Maclain......
In the NICU this is what I heard; "be patient, he will get bigger and stronger", "be patient, he will learn to suck and swallow", "be patient, he will figure out how to breastfeed", "be patient, give him time, he will figure out how to breathe on his own", "be patient, one day he will be big enough and strong enough to go home".
Then I started to hear; " be patient, his milestones will take longer, he is a preemie", "be patient, he had a rough start", "be patient, he will do things in his own time".
I was forced to try to embrace a wait and see attitude, but I just can't believe that "good things come to those who wait". That attitude would not have gotten Maclain a cochlear implant, or access to valuable early intervention, or the equipment he has needed. I wish that I could sit back and relax and just let him be, and see how he develops over time, but I can't. I need to know that I have pushed and prodded, and have done everything I can to make sure he has every chance in life to succeed.
So as much I would love to stop and smell the flowers, I think for now I will be out catching that worm.